I'm 27 years, in a relationship with a guy since last year June. I love him with all my heart and I'm very proud of him and spend most of my free time with him. He gives me virtually everything i ask from him..... I've rejected so many men because of him most of whom are married now. Two will also wed dis weekend and some are still asking for my hand in marriage. I could have chosen from any of these men but i didn't because of the love i have for him. on 1st of August 2015, i decided to confront him. I told him about different guys asking for my hand in marriage, two have taken me to their parents and are really on my neck, I haven't given them any response because i want to know my stand with him.
His question was if i was ready for marriage and i said of course "yes" and he said there are so may things i dont know about him: 1, He was married with one daughter but had issues with the wife, and she left with the little girl and later sent some hoodlums who assaulted him and made away with her stuffs that it's been 3yrs now. 2, He's been on suspension in his office ( Federal Inland Revenue Services- FIRS) since December last year over a document he signed without going through. I was speechless!!! How can u hide matters as serious as this from me? I've been open to him all this while, and he's kept me in the dark? "why haven't you told me all dis before now? He said he was afraid i might leave him and he dosen't want that to happen. that he had planned to meet with my parents early dis year but it didn't work out because his suspension have not been lifted but he hopes they will do something about it before the year runs out. Then concerning his initial marriage, ...... He said he is not bringing her back to his house after all she did to him and his family, he also said, he'll only bring back his daughter after collecting the dowry back. on 4th sept. he said he will come and meet my parents by Oct or Nov. i love this guy, I don't want to loose him but at the same time I'm confused because my Mum is against the fact that he was married before and she's of the opinion that i should leave him for the other guy who is from my neighboring town and also richer, but i don't like him, please advice me on what to do?
Some red flags this Lady is missing.
ReplyDelete1. He doesn't trust her enough to tell her he had been married before, and also that he is suspended from work. What do they talk about everyday (assuming they talk everyday) Trust is the basis for every relationship. if he cant trust her with serious issues like this before they get married. Do you think he'll trust her IF (and its a big IF) they end up married?
2.The guy has too much foul energy about him. He has work issues, problems from his previous marriage and all. These are some of the core bits that settle a man and he has issues on these front. Until he deals with these 'blocks' effectively he wont be ready for her.
She can decide to be smart and address these problems with a calm head or let her emotions/feelings cloud her judgement.
I agree with u but don't u think trust is not the problem here but the guy is afraid of loosing her?
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